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So, you want some advice? Then this is the place for you!
The Imperial Oracle of Needhamia has been giving advice
to all and sundry members of the old Royal Family of Needhamia since time immemorial...
and look where it got them.
The Needhamian National Lawyers remind you that the Imperial Oracle of Needhamia is for amusement purposes only and, being based on random combinations of words, is apt to occasionally let loose with a real whopper. You'd do better to ask for advice from your dog. Come to think of it, your dog probably has a lot of advice to give you, but he can't because he doesn't have the proper vocal musculature or even opposable thumbs. Think of it... your dog sits there day after day, watching you do the dumbest things imaginable, and Cassandra-like, is unable to let you know. Like that time you tried to change the light at the top of the stairs while standing on your office chair. You know, the one with the wheels. I bet Rex would have given his eye-teeth to have been able to say "Hey, buddy! Look out! That chair's gonna be spinning like a blender any second and you're gonna be the Human Smoothie!" Last changed May 2, 2000 Back to the Ministry of Tourism |
Unlike other oracles, the Imperial Oracle of Needhamia doesn't
wait for you to ask a question; it just jumps in with its own advice of the moment
regardless of what you're thinking.
No difficult clearing of the mind, no shaking of a certain oversized billiard ball,
no sitting knee-to-knee with a friend is required.
Just glance at the text below to hear the advice of the Oracle... and like the weather
in Needhamia, if you don't like it just wait a few seconds and it'll change.