So I hobbled off to my Primary-Care Physician and, after receiving the results of a few tests he announced "You've got gall stones... Lots of 'em... I've scheduled you with a surgeon. He'll want to take it out."

Now for a quick lesson in anatomy: The gall bladder is a little organ tucked under the liver, which is responsible for storing bile (a fat-digester produced by the liver) and squirting it into the intestines whenever fatty foods go by. In some people (mostly determined by genetics), the bile in the gall bladder forms crystaline I-don't-know-what's called gall stones. My symptoms were caused by a gall stone blocking the exit to the gall bladder, making it angry.

Soon after that I was lying on a small cot and having my belly shaved while watching a rerun of Little House on the Prairie. The last thing I remember was the anesthesiologist saying "I've put something into your IV to relax you." After that I was wondering why my eyes were closed, why I never got to count backwards from one-hundred, why there was something over my mouth, and why I had an uncomfortable itch where my gall-bladder used to be.

The surgeon later explained that about once a week they get a patient who comes out of the anesthetic a little wild, and I was this week's winner. It had taken a couple of the staff to hold me down while the anesthesiologist calmly explained to me that the surgery was over and that I really didn't need to keep trying to pull off the mask and roll onto my side.

So... the picture you see here was taken about three days after my surgery. (Click on the picture to open the curtain.) No giant gash as in gall-bladder removals of old; no languishing in the hospital for weeks on end; no living on Jello. This was laparoscopic gall bladder removal, and you can read all about the procedure at The Mayo Clinic Site. If you're really, really interested and not put off by BLOODY PHOTOS OF BODY ORGANS you can see what such a removal looks like from the inside, at Laparoscopy.com -- DON'T LOOK AT THIS LINK DURING YOUR LUNCH.

Fortunately, the human body works very well without a gall bladder as long as I stay away from the ice-age diet of mammoth gristle. Mister Salad is now my close friend and Evil Mister Vending-Machine is wondering why I only visit occasionally anymore. My thanks go out to my surgeon, very patient anesthesiologist, and all the wonderful staff at Tuality Hospital and Body Imaging -- thanks to you all for making abdominal surgery more pleasant than I imagined possible.